F.F.A.M.

A Message From The 2nd VP – November 2021

I am going to do something different this month. I usually tell you about events that the FFAM is doing in the future. This month I want to touch on something near and dear to my heart, firefighter mental health. I have seen lots of my coworkers suffer from PTSD, have suicidal intentions, or even worse committed suicide. It is an ongoing problem in the fire service, and we need to help our brothers and sisters in their time of need.

I am going to tell you about one of my friends named Liz. Liz and I had been coworkers and friends for ten years.  She came in on time, was loved by all, had a smile that would light everyone up, and was a dedicated employee. Then the day we all regret came. We worked on a serious motorcycle accident with an ejection. Liz started having nightmares of the accident, started drinking heavily, was not sleeping, and started to get distant from her friends and coworkers. Over time she would eventually lose her job, drink more heavily, up to 15 beers a day, and have suicidal intentions over some time.

Liz realized she had a problem when she woke up one morning from being passed out from a night of drinking in her vomit on the kitchen floor. She went to seek professional help, and today after a year and half of therapy, she is sober and handing her PTSD better, and getting back into the public, enjoying life.

We, as first responders, need to stick together and look out for our brothers and sisters.  These are some of the points that my instructor told me in a recent per support team class.

Listen

One of the most helpful things you can do for someone struggling with a mental health issue is to listen. It is important to do if someone is not struggling.

Don’t judge

No one was struggling more than Liz. The last thing she needed was to be judged by someone who was supposed to be her friend. If you judge, you can’t listen with a pure intention.

Don’t take it personally

Easier said than done, but it’s essential to remove your ego from the situation. If you personalize it, you cannot be fair. You are likely to make it more about you than finding a solution.

Have a needs agreement

Not as easy as it sounds, but if you can establish a “needs agreement” ahead of time, it works wonders. How? When there is no tension and communication is flowing well, let the other person know what you need from them and ask what they need from you during incidents like this. You can always remind them, “Hey, we have an agreement.” When/if things go south, this is easy to draw on. Most people will respect that if it goes both ways.

When to seek outside help

If you see a behavior that can place the person or others at harm, seek outside qualified help as soon as possible. If the situation isn’t critical, it’s best to play the role of listener, encouraging your friend or colleague to get help and providing resources to help them do so.

Do not jump to conclusions

It is easy to assess others with our perceptions. We may “think” we’re qualified or know what’s going on., However, I’ve found many times my assumptions were totally off base. Leave it to the professionals! Would you want a psychologist with no firefighter training backing you up on a fire scene? I don’t think a psychologist wants fire service personnel meddling in their profession.

Make it a safe zone

Ensure their sharing is confidential, and you are safe, and they are safe, as well as your personnel. No one is better than setting up perimeters and safety zones than first responders. If they continue to come to you for advice, establish a boundary. Let them know you appreciate them trusting in you, but you can’t solve their problems for them.

These points are very important, especially at this time of year. The holidays are coming up, and we all know what that means. People suffering from depression, having suicidal intentions, or even worse committing suicide. We need to take care of ourselves and our coworkers. It is very important!

I would like to wish you, your department, and your families a Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas.

I will end this article by saying if the FFAM can be of any assistance to you or your department, please don’t hesitate to reach out. you can find me at grant_oetting@yahoo.com or 660-229-4525. If I don’t answer, please leave me a message.

Until next time, stay safe brothers and sisters.